Monday morning after the worst weekend of my life.
Dad is still there and we are still standing. The only thing different is that Dr. Ibarheem is not there. As the day goes on, I realize that he has not come through and ask about him. I am told that Dr. Ahmad, the original primary doctor, is back from vacation so he is taking over.
We will miss Dr. Ibarheem. He was like our guardian angel willing to step out on the limb and do what was necessary to keep Dad alive. He sensed that Dad was a fighter and was not going to let him down. If we had had a doctor that was not willing to go the extra miles that Dr. Ibarheem was willing, Dad would probably not be with us today.
Which makes me think about faith. Many people I know live with faith in their every day lives. Faith was never a big component in our family when I was growing up. Though for a few years we did attend United Methodist Church. When my brother was younger, my family also explored the Church of Latter Day Saints but to say that we are a faith based family would be pushing it.
I found my faith that Saturday afternoon that Dad was bleeding out. Losing 3,000 ccs of blood in one hour will do that. I prayed from the top of my head to my toes. I went to the Quiet Room, what passes for a Chapel at Valley Hospital, and prayed. It was one of the most non-descript rooms I have ever been in. No furniture, the walls were painted white sans one that had a scene of the ocean as if painted from a Greek window sill. Not my idea of a Chapel or a Quiet Room but at that moment it didn't matter.
There I prayed and bargained with God like I have never done before. And there I learned that you do not need to bargain with God. All you need is to believe and pray. I don't know that it was an epiphany but I do know that Dad overcame tremendous odds and remained alive. Many people were praying for him in various cities around the country. They all contributed to Dad beating the odds and the doctors and staff that had written him off hours before.
That Monday morning, his vas cath (dialysis catheter) clogged and they had to put in a new one.
As the week progressed, the various doctors made their rounds each day and each day I was there asking questions about how well he was doing. There was good news and bad news.
The good news, they are able to begin weaning him off the vaso-suppressors.
The bad news, his right foot does not look good. As we were told, the vaso-suppressors constricted the blood vessels in his legs and his feet as they sent all the blood there to his chest cavity to keep him alive. To complicate matters, he is diabetic.
His left leg and foot look alright but his right foot continues to go downhill. We are told they might have to amputate.
On Aug. 15th, he pulls out the PICC Line. Annabel thinks that it was not deliberate but that it causing him to scratch and in his sleep he pulled it out. His oxygen mask is replaced by nose tube. He is alert, asking questions, beginning to remember. He wants an Orange drink, a ginger ale, and a 7-Up. He is thirsty.
I walk in to see two unfamiliar nurses prepping his right arm (the one with the Blood clot). I ask them what they are doing. They tell me they have to put in a new PICC Line. I ask them why they are trying to put it in the right arm. They tell me it is because the previous PICC Line was in his left arm.
I tell them he can't have a PICC Line in his arm because he has a blood clot in it!
The nurse says "What blood clot"
"The one in his right arm".
"What's that from"
"The first PICC line"
"How long ago? A long time?"
"Three weeks ago"
"Here"
"Yes, here!!!!!"
"Oh."
They stop prepping his right arm and move to other side of the bed and begin prepping his left arm. If I had not walked in at that moment, they would have put a PICC line in his right arm. The problem with the blood clot in that arm is that it can break free and move towards to his heart causing him to have stroke. The right arm should not be used for blood pressure readings, IVs, PICC lines or anything that can cause the clot to break free.
Which makes me wonder why people do not read his chart before attempting procedures? But the sad truth is they don't. They are too busy, too many patients to treat, you name it there is a reason. Never mind that it might cause the patient more harm than good.
As the week progresses, we learn that his right foot cannot be saved. The cardiologist, Dr. Holland tells me this on Friday afternoon. I ask what do we do next. He says he will ask Dr. Morris, an orthopedic surgeon, to come take a look but he his almost certain the foot will not able to be saved.
My Dad is sleeping. I cannot tell this wonderful man myself that he will lose his foot. It is one of his worst nightmares come to life. He knows he is diabetic and has had trouble with infections and sores on that foot for years. But every time, he has been able to beat the odds.
Today, his luck runs out in that regard.
Dr. Holland offers to come back in the morning and tell Dad the news. I thank him and tell him we will be here as well.
I go home to tell my mom the bad news.
Things I learned from this:
1) As hard as it is, you have to be there as much as possible.
A) To talk to the doctors and chart your loved one's progress. Leaving notes in the chart for the doctor's to call you
and give you an update is most likely not going to happen in timely manner.
B) You have to be there to make sure that anyone that comes in to do a procedure, change a PICC line, do anything
has a full understanding of your loved one's condition and problems. One wrong move can have catastrophic consequences.
2) Never underestimate the power of prayer and the power of faith. It can provide you with a sense of calm and help
ease the sense of helplessness.
3) Listen closely when they tell you side affects of medication they are giving your loved one. We were prepared for
what the vaso-suppressors could do because Annabel and Dr. Ibarheem took the time to explain it to us. If they
hadn't this next part of our journey would have been much more difficult.
4) Healthcare in America today demands that you be as hands-on in the situation as you can afford to be. Sacrifices
will have to be made if you want to ensure that your loved one is getting the proper care. Having someone there at
their bedside during the day to talk to the doctors is a financial, but necessary sacrifice, because of the information
you learn will help to you to make the tough decisions. It is one that I felt I had to make during all this to help keep Dad alive.